Lets change my self~!

I love the title of this post. Probably because ,when I type the titl, Chinen`s voice play inside my mind singing , "lets change my self!". Well, it`s better than Uta Utau.=.,=
Ok, It`s been awhile. Been busy with final exam and studying, I think today I want to update something. This post is about, me. *coughmyblogcough*
2 weeks ago..or more..someone special asked me to, change my self. because I`m sooooo negative and because of that, I makes lots of people hurt and hate me. I regret that. So yeah, I decide, maybe I should.
I change for my self not coz someone else and somehow, I am proud of my self coz i did it for my own good.

Still Trying
I'm still trying to change my self. What I`ve done before,either I regret or proud of it. but mostly, I regret for being stupid.
I`m not a type of person that gonna look back into past. but yes, some memories never leaves you, i admit, there is some things/people I still remember, sometimes, miss.

life is about...learning something new and make your self better. People makes mistakes, I make mistakes. I wish, I could do something to make things right, like go back in time, but its impossible. Everyone knows it. So, what did I do? Back to the beginning. Start from bottom again. almost broke down again last night, but Alhamdulillah, Allah with me.

Me,Her,Him,Them..

There lots of version about what happened, but the truth probably, those who were close and understand me, knows it. But those who thinks they know me, probably don't really understand everything.
About her, the one I treat as sister. The one who always pop out from nowhere whenever she feel something is wrong with me. She always like, "are you okay,unie? I know you`re not." Someone who I can talk without  have to explain what happened.
I did talk to her, but I never badmouth others. I talk because she understand what I feel, and she always like giving me advices or always contact me when she feels like something is wrong with me. I never thought it will make things become worst.


CRYING AGAIN
I admit my fault. Maybe if I wasn't being like what I used before, probably that "friendship" will continue. I cried when I read AND hear it from her. I cry since last night. The moment I know there`s fight between them.

I cry when you apologize to me... I cry when you said you`re in pain. replied everything while sobbing and crying, not to curse my own self. Like I mentioned early, I almost broke down, then I remember, He always with me, My God, Allah.

I seek for forgiveness, I seek for things to be back like it used to, I ask Him to give me strength , I asked Him to take away the pain from you.

To you, I apologize for using "hurt" as a reason, I didn't realize I`m hurting you. Please,please be patient with me, and please tegur me if I`m doing things that hurt you. I need to be told, coz sometimes, i always do things ikut kepala sendiri je.
To her, I`m sorry.
To them, I`m sorry too.

"You get hurt only by people who occupy a big part of your heart. The more it hurts, the more important the person is."

true meh?